


Every Contour of Your Body

by alipucca



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, NSFW Art, Nude Modeling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-08-15 23:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8076979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alipucca/pseuds/alipucca
Summary: Laura Hollis is excited for a new semester in college, but how would she react when she finds out one of her classmates is actually one of the models for her Figure Drawing Class?





	1. Chapter 1

       “Ugh!” Laura groaned as she was crouched next to her locker door, all her materials spread out around her “How can a big ass sketchpad get lost amongst all of my things?”

       “Are you sure you didn’t left it in the house?” Danny asked, fighting the laugh that was creeping to come out of her. “You know that you won’t get to Narnia like that.” The tall ginger girl mentioned between giggles as Laura stuck her head inside the locker, as if it was to appear by some sort of magic trick.

       “Shut up, Danny. I am freaking out.” Her voice resonated in the small confinement she was in. “What if,” she lowered her voice as another student walked past them, “what if someone broke into my locker and stole it?”

       “That’s very unlikely.” Danny readjusted her things in her arms. “They would have taken everything, rather than _just_ a sketchpad.”

       “True.”

       “Come on Hollis,” She lightly kicked Laura’s shoe with hers. “I will lend you a sheet of paper. We don’t want to be late for our last first class.” Laura gave a defeated sigh and slowly began to place her belongings back in her locker. “Hollis, you have two minutes to fit all of your things in your locker or we will _definitely_ be late.”

       Laura did what she was told, at first she was somewhat arranging everything in her locker before Danny kept telling her the time remaining and she started freaking out, ending up shoving everything in her locker and slammed the door shut with her foot. They descended the stairs and headed to the end of the hall. As they walked in, Laura and Danny headed once again to the end of  the classroom, as all the easels were already taken .

       Once they placed their belongings down, Laura asked Danny for a sheet of paper, who once placed her sketch pad down it slid to its side and revealed another pad. Pursing her lips, Danny reached out for it and handed it to Laura.

       “Oops,” Danny said as she shrugged her shoulders.

       “Oops? You were carrying my sketchpad all along and you didn’t tell me? Not cool, Danny Lawrence, not cool!”

       “I’m sorry, Laura! I didn’t knew I was carrying it with me.”

       “I swear I’m gonna—.”

       “—Okay kids, let’s get this show on the road.” A door suddenly opened while their professor started heading over to the small platform and sat down, holding a cup of tea or coffee in her hand. “Please attach a sheet of paper on the drawing board, and a sheet of newsprint on top of it as you will dispose of that one by the end of the class and take out your charcoals. We are going to start with several gesture drawings on the newsprint to warm up before we move on and work on a long piece. But first I need to give you some ground rules.”

       Several students, Laura and Danny included, started following their professor’s instructions. Neatly displaying her charcoal sticks at the small wooden support, Laura noticed how the charcoal had already stained her hands and even though she tried to rub it off, it only caused her to get them even dirtier.

       “My name is Matska Belmont, and this is your Introduction to Figure Drawing Class. In this class you will learn about the human figure and to be able to draw a body proportionately in accordance to the model’s anatomy.” She started handing out several curriculae to the students while she continued talking in an authoritative manner. “Now, I know that you have probably heard about this class or you have seen the drawings I hang on the glass cases on the hall. So let me clear to you.

       “The models posing for you throughout the semester will be nude. But let me remind you that they are here because they are getting paid. They already know this but it is my responsibility to tell you that you are only allowed to speak to them if they talk to you first. If I ever catch you talking to them, flirting, exchanging numbers or doing anything of the sort I will not only fail you from my class with an F, but I will send you to the Dean of students. Is that clear?” There was an unanimous yes in the class, and Professor Belmond smiled and added, “I’m glad we got that out of the way. Now let’s begin.”

       As Laura was busy finishing placing her sheets of paper in place, she lifted her eyes and there was a girl wearing what Laura thought was the most comfortable robe there was. It had a silky texture, with red and leopards on the print that got confused with golden splotches. Her hair was tied in a messy bun, that accentuated her prominent jawline, she had milky pale skin and ivory hair.

       If Laura was having a hard time not gawking at the model and keeping her breathing at a normal pace, it became impossible to continue breathing when the girl reached out for her silk belt. She observed the model’s hands move and unfastened it, then placed her hands on her shoulders and slowly revealed her shoulders, her collarbones, her breasts, until she dropped her robe on the floor and showed the rest of the naked body.

       “So these exercises will last thirty seconds for each gesture drawing, and then we will progress to minute and two-minute drawings,” Professor Belmont said and snapped Laura back to reality. “And our model here will change positions. I will keep track of time, and then we will move to one minute gesture drawings. Ready?”

       The model shifted into a position but Laura only look at her jawline, the way her Adam’s apple gracefully moved whenever she swallowed, how her eyes seemed tired, but her expression did not showed any emotion at all. The model nodded, gave a deep sigh with her eyes closed before her arms were reaching out for something in the air and her legs shifted position and froze in her place. Transfixed by the girl standing in front of her, Laura did not realized she was not moving until the model shifted position once more and her entire body was facing her. As soon as Laura noticed that the model was facing her, Laura quickly started to move, creating small quick gesture drawings before the girl in the platform changed positions and her page started to get filled with female figures.

       After several minutes of doing this, Laura found herself trying to contain herself by breathing and reminding herself that this was just a girl who had nothing special. That her body was completely normal and that there was nothing the model had that she had never seen. Starting by looking at herself everyday in the mirror before taking a shower, along with her past girlfriends she had spent nights with.

       But as soon as she finally composed herself, Professor Belmonde gave them all a break and the model placed her robe back on and climbed down the stairs.

       “Alright everyone, you have seven minutes to catch a break, drink some water, eat something, go and smoke a cigarette, I don’t care. Go.”

       The model walked right past her, and gave her a smirk and winked at her, making Laura fluster all over again, who tried in vain to not follow her with her eyes as the girl with dark hair walked next to her teacher and crossed her arms.

       “Is there anything I can get from you Carmilla?”

       “Water would be nice. Thanks.” she lazily said to Professor Belmont, before Laura felt a hand on her shoulder and she quickly turned to see who was it.

       “Hey Laura, I’m gonna go and get some water, do you need anything?” Danny asked.

       “What? No, I’m good, Danny. Thanks.”

       “Alright,” she said and walked out of the classroom.

       She was left alone, and noticed how Professor Belmont walked past her, giving her a small smile before heading towards the front door and disappeared behind her. Not knowing what to do, Laura tried to busy herself with taking out another stick of charcoal from a small tin box and took her synthetic charcoal crayons, holding one with her hand before she heard the scuffing of feet moving around the classroom before stopping behind her.

       “Do you mind if I take a look?”

       Laura turned and suddenly she noticed the girl’s face up close. Her hair was undone, with dark curls falling down her back, her eyes hypnotizing and her features were somewhat sharp yet delicate, making Laura feel like this girl was carved out of marble.

       “Huh?” _Holy crap sticks she is so close. Laura. Breathe_. “Yeah, ahem, I mean, sure.” Laura ran her hand through her hair and felt how a warmth was creeping from her neck up to her entire face, before noticing that her fingers were filled with charcoal dust and probably had already smeared her hair and maybe her forehead with black. “They are not that good, though,” She replied as Carmilla stood a little bit closer and examined them.

       “They look pretty good to me.” _Wait. Did she just complimented my drawings?_ Carmilla smiled, and Laura returned the feeling. Her hand reached out and slightly touched the paper, her finger leaving a small smudge on the paper. “I like how you emphasize the shadows by marking deeper on the paper. You are at a good starting point, cutie.”

       At that moment the door opened and Professor Belmont walked in with a mug for Carmilla, who smiled and took it from her, and they started talking together before Laura hastily left the room to look for Danny.

 

* * *

 

       “How’d your day go, Frosh?” LaFontaine asked after Laura kicked the door open, her arms juggling various art supplies and textbooks while her backpack desperately clung onto her shoulders.

       “I never thought someone could blush for three consecutive hours,” Danny said following Laura from behind, her arms effortlessly carrying the same amount of things as Laura.

       Laura placed her belongings in a corner of the apartment and the memory of the events made her cheeks color profusely as she made her way to the kitchen for a grape soda.

       She noticed that LaFontaine was giving her one of their signature smug grins before turning to face Danny who was already resting on the couch. They lifted the mug up to their lips while Perry walked next to them, her fingers brushing tenderly against theirs before taking the mug from their hands. She settled onto the table, placing the mug at an arm’s distance away.

       “Before I forget, Kirsch stopped by and said you should text him,” LaFontaine casually mentioned.

       “Will do. Thanks, LaF,” Danny sighed, dropping her arm in her bag and rummaged for her phone.

       Laura looked at the scene happening before her while her roommates were gathered at the living room/dining room on the first floor. She smiled to herself, enjoying and relishing in the company of these amazing people who have become her family. Danny was already with phone in hand while Perry and LaFontaine had their books sprawled out across the dinner table. They were sitting across from each other, Perry mumbling something in German as LaFontaine stopped reading their book to look at her instead, before the former tapped her knuckles on the table and pointed at their textbooks, and they unwillingly returned to their reading.

       Danny got up to pour herself a cup of the never-ending coffee supply and walked back again towards the couch, the floor squeaking and protesting at every step. Laura smiled in between sips, admiring how old but charming this old house was.

       It was an old Victorian house, probably built at the turn of the century and it was right across the street from the university with wooden floors that squeaked, the pipes had burst several times during winter, and there was a trick to the front door that she spent three weeks trying to get the hang of when she first arrived. The floors were still the original wood when the house was built, there was a bathtub in every bathroom, a creepy attic was included along with a terrifying basement, beautiful stained glass windows adorned the entrance, cornices and mouldings laced the walls and even though they needed a paint job, they were still beautiful nonetheless. The only downfall was that since it was so close to the university, rent was a little bit steep, so they all managed to contribute on the rent in order to stick together.

       “So, how were your classes today, sweetie?” Perry turned to Laura.

       “Meh, they were good,” she shrugged her shoulders.

       “Laura is in love with her figure drawing Class,” The tall red head perked up before looking back at her phone.

       “I am not!”

       “What? Laura is in love?” Perry asked as her eyes widened in surprise.

       “Finally,” LaFontaine exclaimed, raising their arms to the heavens as if their pleads had been heard.

       “Laura has a crush on the model. A big. Massive. Crush.” Dany raised her eyebrow and gave Laura a devilish grin, frustrating the latter.

       “I don’t!” Laura raised her voice but soon lowered it. “I don’t have a crush on the model.”

       “Please, Hollis. You’re not fooling anyone.”

       “Okay. I’m lost,” Perry intervened. “Are we talking about your figure drawing class or about someone _in_ your figure drawing class?”

       “Don’t listen to Danny,” Laura took another sip from her soda.

       “I’m still confused,” Perry added, her brows furrowed as her eyes scanned at everybody before turning to LaFontaine’s. “What class are we talking about?”

       “It’s a class where you learn to draw the human figure and in perspective.” Danny added from the couch.

       “And what’s the problem with that?” Perry asked, raising an eyebrow.

       “The models are in nude, Perr.” LaFontaine answered, giving Danny a smug grin before Perry glared at them while they composed themselves.

 

* * *

 

       Laura regretted having taken an 8:30 am History class at an auditorium with two hundred people. _Thank god spring is finally approaching, I am so tired of the cold_ , Laura thought, burying her face underneath her hoodie as a gush of wind blew. She picked up her pace, hoping to arrive to her first class on time.

       She was taking six classes this semester, and she was beginning to worry about her workload being too much for her.

       That was until her professor, Dr. Vordenberg, started rambling about the High Classical Period of the Greeks and segwayed into talking about some crusade that had nothing to do with the original topic. He never covered any material from the textbook and rambled about historical events as if he had lived through it, but never giving any specific dates or prominent figures in his lectures. She was regretting her upcoming quiz since they hadn’t finished covering Ancient Civilizations and she was sure he was not going to be able to cover the rise and fall of Roman Empire and the rise of the Catholic religion by the end of the week.

       “And so, it was that the Greeks, thanks to their audacity and their belief in philosophy, art, and their cutting edge technology, for their times, in architecture and belief in democracy that…”

       Noticing that probably half the class was falling asleep in the auditorium, Laura leaned in closer to the person sitting next to her.

       “Ugh, does he think that he lived through these historical ev—”

       She stopped talking, noticing the girl sitting next to her with eyes closed and head tilted down, her chest rising and falling evenly as Professor Vordenberg continued rambling during the entirety of the class. She thought she recognized her from being in the same class, but… _Wait is she…? Wait. No. No no no no. Yes? No, she can’t… Whoa, it’s her, isn’t it?_ The loose curls, the black fingernails, and then that amazing jawline. _Oh my god. Oh my goodness me, Laura. Laura Hollis keep your cool. Don’t._ She looked at her once again and flashes of her being naked appeared before her eyes. _Oh dear god._ Except she was still wearing clothes, but Laura couldn’t picture her in any other way.

       Her hands started frantically taking notes, as if by doing so she would regain her composure. She wanted to revert her eyes to Professor Vordenberg and pay attention to the lecture, only she couldn’t. She just couldn’t believe that the girl sitting next to her was the model in her figure drawing class.

       “Didn’t your parents teach you that it’s rude to stare at people?” Carmilla seemed to be asleep said in a low, husky voice. _Shit, shit, shit she’s awake. How can she be awake?!_

       “Oh um… no, I was just um…” Laura could feel her cheeks getting warmer as she fidgeted with her fingernails, lightly tapping her fingers on the small foldable table in her seat, trying to do her best to hide her face and not show how flustered she was. “I was just wondering if there was a clock around here to see how much longer do we have left of class.”

       “Hmm, sure you were.” _What the hell does that mean? Oh god, did she remember me from the class? Way to go, Laura Hollis, way to go._ “It’s almost over, cupcake. Don’t worry.”

       “How…” She struggled to find her words. “How do you know?” And as if on cue, the students around her came back to life and quickly started gathering their belongings before climbing down the stairs towards the front of the class.

       Laura was about to say something to the girl sitting next to her but once she turned her head, she was gone. She searched for her, but she had already disappeared from the crowd trying to push their way through the door.

       If it was a dream, her brain was playing some sick game with her. And if it all actually happened, then she just made a fool of herself in front of the model from her figure drawing class. Unable to register if she was indeed imagining things or it happened in real life, Laura turned to check on the clock, and noticed that she was going to be late for her class.

 

* * *

 

Laura (12:33pm):        Hey Perry, have you had lunch yet?

Perry (12:33pm):         I’m about to with LaFontaine, is everything okay?

Laura (12:34pm):        Everything’s fine. Same place as usual?

Perry (12:34pm):         Always :)

Laura (12:34pm):        On my way!

 

* * *

 

       “That was an abrupt lunch request,” Perry half joked as Laura met them for lunch underneath a tree in the campus quad.

       “Geez Frosh, what contaminated your control samples?”

       Despite being roommates, Laura was glad to be friends with them as they tried to spend time with each other whenever their schedules allowed it. Laura was happy that she liked her roommates and her roommates liked her back, making her feel like she was living in a movie.

       Laura looked at them both and started slowly opening her backpack, hopefully buying herself some time while she rummaged through the contents inside. She took out a sandwich (courtesy of Perry), a can of grape soda (courtesy of LaFontaine), and bag with chocolate chip cookies (herself).

       “Remember a couple of days ago, I think it was Thursday. Yeah, it was Thursday, that Danny was making fun of me for having a crush on the model from my figure drawing class?”

       “Heh, don’t we know it, you’re blushing right now as you speak.” LaFontaine answered matter-of-factly to Laura, and they earned a nudge and a glare from Perry, so they cleared their throat and added, “So, what about her?”

       Laura took a bite from her sandwich, followed by taking a sip from her drink.

       “No!” LaFontaine exclaimed after they noticed Laura’s face turn red.

       “Yes.”

       “When?”

       “Today.” Laura answered in a small voice.

       “Where?!”

       “At my history class.”

       “Are you sure it was her, sweetie?” Perry intervened, knowing the excited eyes LaFontaine was giving Laura.

       “Yes.”

       “And?” LaFontaine asked enthusiastically, but Laura did not responded. “Did you talk to her?”

       “I… I kinda did?” She retold them the course of events until the moment the girl disappeared amongst the crowds. “Oh god, what if she recognizes me tomorrow during class? I mean, I could just pretend that I didn’t recognized her, you know? Because Professor Belmonde has a strict ‘no hitting or talking to the model’ policy in her class.”

       “Yeah, but it is _not_ her class, Frosh, it’s History class.”

       “I’m sure that if you don’t tell your professor in sharing a class with the model she won’t find out.”

       They continued eating their meals, and Perry was the first one to leave since her office hours were about to start followed by LaFontaine, who always walked Perry before returning to their next class all the way across campus.

       Laura was left alone to her thoughts. It was true what Perry and LaFontaine told her. She was not breaking any rules in trying to talk to the model if they had a class in common together. But all she had to do now, was to gather her courage and to not look like a complete stalker and a creeper in front of her.

 

* * *

 

       “Are you ready, Carmilla?”

        The latter mumbled in affirmation, as she was already flipping through the book Professor Belmont allowed her to bring so she could get distracted for the next two hours.

       “Begin.”

       Laura had drawn Carmilla several times already, which they had several models, but Laura had more difficulty adjusting to the figure. Especially the men. There was something about the male figure that she disliked. In her mind, it lacked the delicacy and gentleness that the female figure had. And the fact that she saw the female anatomy every time she took a shower wasn’t too surprising, compared to seeing naked men. Laura shrug and pushed the thought away.

       Taking her graphite pencil and a deep breath, Laura began to draw Carmilla, who was sitting on the floor, her hands resting on a chair as the piece of cloth draped on the chair, fell all the way to the floor to serve as a cushion and to protect her from the hard surface. Examining Carmilla closely before she began to trace the first lines on her sheet of paper, Laura felt as if she was alone with her. Like she was intruding into Carmilla’s personal space and was documenting her every day life, feeling an intimacy she had never experienced in her life with any other person just by observing them.

       Extending her arm to start getting the proportions correctly, Laura drew her arm, her shoulder, how her neck was slightly tilted to the side that casted a beautiful shadow and she could barely see a hint of her breast. She erased and smudged here and there, and would double check to see if she was getting the proportions right before creating another mark on her sheet of paper. Laura noticed how Carmilla’s breathing was controlled, and knew when she sighed by the casting shadows of the lighting. How the most minuscule movement of flipping the page caused her muscles to shift and come back to normal as she rendered her onto the sheet of paper in front of her. How her eyes only moved as they travelled through the pages and her eyes expressed an emotion, probably caused as a reaction from her reading. She paid close attention to the lights, the middle tones and shadows, the patterns created by the drape as they caressed Carmilla’s thigh, the small mole on her shoulder blade and the way her hair fell on her back, playing with more intense shadows and movement, when suddenly—.

       “—Everyone please don’t forget that by next week you need to bring ten studies of hands and feet. And we will be having a critique in the next two weeks. Thank you and have a very nice evening.”

       Every student quickly packed their things and began to clear the room, but not Laura. She noticed how the model closed her book and began to stretch her limbs, her back still facing the classroom as she reached out for her robe and draped it on her shoulders and fastened the belt. Once it was securely fastened, Carmilla descended the platform and walked right past Laura before she headed to a door at the back of the room.

       “Hey, Hollis. I’m gonna meet with Kirsch for some dinner and then we will go and study at the house. Do you want anything?”

       “I’m good, thanks Danny.”

       “Are you sure you don’t want any food?”

       “I’m sure.” What she really wanted was for Danny to leave so she wouldn’t be teasing for what she was about to do. “Have fun with Kirsch.”

       “Okay. See ya around, Laura.”

       Laura observed Danny leave the room and she resumed cleaning her workspace when several of the advanced students entered and began to shuffle the easels around, before the back door opened and there was Carmilla. She was wearing black ripped jeans, a black top, a black leather jacket and even black combat boots.

       “Waiting for someone, cupcake?”

       Laura pretended like she didn’t hear, but her heart sped up.

       “Oh, you’re talking to me?” Laura didn’t even bothered to turn. _You are a master at subtlety, Laura. Just… be cool_. “Oh, no I was just cleaning here, you know? Don’t want to get on Professor Belmont’s bad side.”

       “Well I don’t think she will give you extra credit for cleaning.” Laura continued to put her things away. “Have you done the essay for Vordenberg?”

       “What essay?” Laura turned and her mind went blank for a second just by looking at Carmilla from up close.

       “The essay that’s due tomorrow?” Carmilla raised both her eyebrows at Laura. “The one about the fall of Rome and how the Dark Ages began?”

       “That’s due tomorrow?!” Laura raised her voice and noticed how several of the advanced students stared in her direction.

       Carmilla smiled and began to chuckle and even if Laura got mad at her for a second, it was replaced by awe at seeing how beautiful she looked smiling.

       “I’m kidding sweetheart.” Laura let out a relieved sigh. “Or not.” Her heart sank. “Well, see you around.”

       Laura didn’t knew if her mind was once again playing tricks with her, but she could swear that before Carmilla closed the door behind her, her lips were slightly curled up. She didn’t knew what was happening with Carmilla, but the only thing that consoled her was that she wasn’t the one that could get in trouble for talking with the model. After all, she even shared a class with her and that gave her a slight hope of getting to know her better. As long as it was school related, of course. She already knew how she looked like without clothes and that was pretty intimidating already. But the fact that Carmilla approached her once again, and that even remembered her from World History class was a plus.

       Unable to compose herself, Laura smiled as she resumed putting her belongings in place before she remembered the mess her locker was, and decided she could use the extra time before heading back to the house to rearrange her things. Maybe tomorrow was going to be a better day.


	2. Chapter 2

       There was something about Carmilla that Laura couldn’t figure out. In the following days, Laura saved a seat for Carmilla in the auditorium by placing her backpack next to her in the following class, but the latter didn’t seemed to take the hint and sat at the end of the classroom, folded her arms and proceeded to close her eyes. But when they were in the Figure Drawing class, Laura sometimes caught Carmilla looking in her direction, but the second their eyes met she either turned away, closed her eyes, or painted a bored expression.

       It went for several weeks, but Laura was not going to give up in getting to know Carmilla better. After all, she could even benefit of becoming study buddies for their upcoming midterm exam.

       So when Laura arrived at one of her classes and found a sheet of paper announcing it was cancelled for the day, she decided to head over to a small coffee place just outside of campus. To do her homework, of course. And because she needed to bring several  studies of people for her figure drawing class. But when she arrived, she found herself glued to the ground when she realized the barista was none other than her favorite nude model Carmilla.

       Her hands began to perspire and there was a nervous giddiness that travelled every inch of her body, feeling both dreadful and lightheaded for finding Carmilla’s other place of work. Unfortunately for her, there were a handful of customers already there, that the moment she arrived Carmilla turned and raised her eyebrow. 

       “If this is you trying to be subtle, I gotta say you are the most obvious person I have ever met when it comes to stalkers, buttercup.”

       “What? No, I’m not… I’m not stalking you.”

       “Oh really?”

       “Yeah,” Laura felt Carmilla’s eyes bore on her, and it was kinda intimidating. “I didn’t even knew you worked here.”

       “Uh hu.” Carmilla turned and said out loud the order she had just finished preparing. “So what can I get for you, cutie?”

       “Um… a large hot chocolate and a chocolate chip cookie.”

       “Anything else? More chocolate, perhaps?” Carmilla gave her a playful smile, but Laura bashfully shook her head. “Go and sit down. I’ll bring it to you in a bit.”

       Laura did as she was told and sat down on a chair that was conveniently close to be able to observe Carmilla working, but not obvious enough to seem like she was staring. Taking the opportunity, Laura glanced around and began to pull out her sketchbook, some graphite pencils, her assorted selection of erasers and began to draw several of the people already seated. She made studies of the customers there when a mug slid in her direction, followed by a small plate with three cookies. One of them was a chocolate chip cookie, The other a cookie with bits of chocolate chips and a chocolate with bits of cookies in it. 

       “Uh… Carmilla? I only ordered  _ one _ chocolate chip cookie. Not three.”

       “Oh, you did? I guess I forgot which one you ordered so I brought all the variations of chocolate we have in stock.” Carmilla replied in a bored tone.

       Laura hunched herself and hid her smile before she resumed working on her homework. She didn’t knew how long she had been there, but the mug in her desk replenished itself with hot chocolate and the cookies continued coming. Laura lifted her mug and took a big gulp of her hot chocolate when,

       “Continue consuming like this and you will have a tab of fifty dollars, cupcake.” Laura choked herself and quickly turned herself from ruining her homework assignment, but was caught in a coughing fit.

       “You couldn’t have said it at a more opportune moment?” Laura managed to say in between coughs.

       “Like what?”

       “Like… after I  _ gulped? _ ” A cough.

       “And where’s the fun in that, cutie?” Carmilla sat down opposite Laura. “What are you doing?” She asked while taking Laura’s sketchbook without permission and began to flip through the pages. “Well, you are getting better, but I see a fault in these studies of yours.”

       “What? What’s wrong with them.”

       “Almost all of your subjects are from far away. I mean you really drew them in detail and everything, but you’re missing the hands, the eyes, and you need to work on your hair skills. It looks pretty flat in all of your drawings.”

       She handed Laura her sketchbook, stood up and headed to the counter only to reappear several seconds after, sat down once again opposite Laura and began to read. Without a second to waste, Laura observed her hands, her slender, delicate and feminine fingers and began to transfer them on her paper, paying close attention to the different shadows and little highlights created by the lighting. But then she began to study the movement of her fingers, the movement of her joints whenever she changed the page, how they twitched every now and then and even she couldn’t help herself observing how Carmilla caressed her hair with her fingers.

_        Buzz, buzz.  _ Laura took her phone and swiped the screen to see she had a new unread message,

 

Danny (1:22 pm):      Hollis, where are you?

 

       Laura rolled her eyes because, of course Danny would be checking up on her.

 

Laura (1:23 pm):       Doing my homework.

Danny (1:23 pm):      Which one?

Laura (1:24 pm):       The study drawings for Professor Belmont.

Laura (1:25 pm):        Is everything okay?

Danny (1:26 pm):      Are you gonna have lunch with us?

 

       Laura thought about it for a couple of seconds. Her first response was to say of course not, because she was with Carmilla. But she didn’t wanted Danny to bother her with more questions.

       “Are you gonna stay here for a while?” Laura asked, her phone still in her hand.

       “Why do you ask, cupcake?”

       “Do you want to um… go and eat somewhere? You can say no if you don’t want to, of course.”

       Carmilla eyed her, but there was something in her eyes that Laura couldn’t decipher. Yes, she wanted to know Carmilla more than just seeing her naked or asleep, or both, in both classes they shared. But she wasn’t going to push her to do anything she didn’t wanted to. For what felt like a lifetime, both Laura and Carmilla locked eyes on each other, but none of them spoke a word. Laura was hesitant to push Carmilla, but it wasn’t until Carmilla licked her lips and said,

       “Where do you have in mind?” Carmilla replied with a hint of a smile.

       Laura smiled and looked down at her phone and quickly replied.

 

Laura (1:30 pm):       I think I will pass. I have other things to do. See you later in class?

Danny (1:31 pm):      Of course.

 

       “So.” Laura placed her phone away, not even bothering to look at Danny’s last text. “Ready to go?”

       “Ready.”

 

* * *

 

       “Are you seriously asking me this question?” Carmilla asked raising an eyebrow.

       “Oh come one, Carmilla.” Laura said after chewing her sandwich. “I mean, it’s not like every person I know would  _ ever _ consider posing naked in front of a bunch of strangers. Not even if it was either a dare, a double dare of a bet, or a combination of all three.”

       “What if I actually lost a dare and that was the punishment?”

       “No.” Laura said but after several seconds she added, “no, I don’t believe you.”

       “Why not?”

       “Because… because you look comfortable, you look like you have been doing this for a while and because you call Professor Belmont by her name.”

       “Mattie and I have known each other for years, creampuff.” Carmilla stated in a matter-of-fact tone. “And if you must know, she pays very well. Especially when it comes to paying me for doing basically nothing. I am actually surprised not many people have guts enough to do it.”

       “Oh, so you  _ have _ done it before! See? I knew my observations about you were correct.”

       “Observations?”

       “Yeah, that’s what I said.”

       “So you have been observing me?” Carmilla raised her eyebrow and Laura felt her cheeks warm. She tried to think of a way out of that situation, but all of her thoughts seemed to corner her even more, ranging from a “duh,” to and “of course I mean, look at you,” but Carmilla smiled and beat her to the punch by adding, “you don’t need to say anything, buttercup. I already got my answer.”

       Carmilla chuckled and Laura silently scolded herself for blushing so easily. As if on queue, she began feeling how a warmth once again spread on her neck.

       “Okay another question.”

       “Another one?” Carmilla raised her eyebrow.

       “Yes. I don’t even know what’s your major. I mean, for all I know you could be one of those people that just attend classes and hang around the campus pretending to be a student but in reality they’re total stalkers.”

       “And we’re back with the stalking,” Carmilla sighed and Laura thought of apologizing, but Carmilla continued. “If you must know, I am a both a Philosophy and English major.”

       “Is that why you’re always reading?” Carmilla nodded. “Wait, so when you read in class, are you  _ actually _ doing homework?”

       After this amount of time together, Laura had made several conclusions about Carmilla. One, was that not only she was a insanely beautiful and awesome, but she knew a lot about art. Two, she was really passionate for history, despite dozing off every single class they had together. Three, she was a total nerd. Four, even though she pretended to be annoyed by laura’s incessant questions, she answered them all for her. Five, she paid for Laura’s meal even though the latter protested and insisted on paying for herself. Six, Carmilla barely looked at their waitress, who wasn’t subtle at all in the flirting department, and focused her attention on Laura instead. And number seven was that the more Laura talked with Carmilla, the more she wanted to spend time with her.

       “Ding, ding ding. Ten points for the creampuff.”  _ Yep, she is a total nerd. Oh god can this girl get any more perfect? Dammit, get a hold of yourself, Laura.  _

       Once they finished eating their lunch and left the restaurant, Laura and Carmilla walked back to the campus together, but with every step they took, Laura began to feel a heaviness in her heart for not being able to spend more time with Carmilla. Yes, this was the very first time that they had exchanged more than ten words with each other, but Laura wanted to know more about her. She wanted to be able to see Carmilla’s smile more often, hear her laugh, or even just to keep her company. 

       This was something that Laura had not experienced in a while after the last girlfriend she had, and even though she witnessed how Perry and LaFontaine, or Danny and Kirsch loved each other, it is an entirely different thing to actually feel it. And it was pretty awesome. Scary, but awesome.

       “Where’s your next class?” Laura asked, trying to start a conversation.

       “Just a couple of buildings away. You?”

       “At the Robespierre building.”

       “Which class?”

       “Math. Not fun at all.”

       “I bet,” they continued walking until they arrived at the main entrance from the Robespierre building. The door opened and several students exited the building, but before the door closed, Carmilla held it for Laura. “Well, here you go, creampuff.”

       “Thanks, Carmilla,” Laura was about to pass the threshold when she turned. “Oh, Carmilla? Thank you for paying for my lunch. I owe you big time.”

       “It’s nothing. You can pay me later.” The last sentence echoed in Laura’s mind when it dawned on her she forgot to pay.

       “Carmilla?”

       “Yes, sweetheart?”

       “Carmilla, I didn’t pay.”

       “Uh, no. I paid for it remember? You just thanked me for it not a second ago.”

       “No, Carmilla. I mean I didn’t pay you.”

       “Now I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, cupcake.”

       “The chocolate. Carmilla I never paid you for the chocolate and the cookies and… Oh my god, I’m gonna get you fired.”

       “Don’t worry about it.”

       “Don’t worry about it?! You said that I owed you like fifty bucks how the hell am I going to pay for that? I could barely even afford to tip the waitress, which means that I will have to live again out of grape soda and cookies for the rest of the week. Dammit, how could I forget about that?”

       “Hey, Laura. Laura, Laura,” Carmilla said and placed her hand on Laura’s arm. “I took care of it, okay?”

       Laura turned her eyes at the spot where Carmilla’s hand and followed the trajectory of her arm, her neck, until they landed on Carmilla’s eyes, who were already fixed upon hers. Laura’s mind went blank for a second before she began to have an internal struggle with herself whether or not to do something really stupid. And by stupid was either a) she kissed Carmilla or b) she pulled away and missed on a great opportunity with her. 

       But then the words from Professor Belmont’s popped into her head:  _ If I ever catch you talking to them, flirting, exchanging numbers or doing anything of the sort I will not only fail you from my class with an F, but I will send you to the Dean of students. _

       That memory brought Laura back to her senses and, with a heavy heart, she pulled herself away and Carmilla followed.

 

* * *

 

       As Laura headed towards the Robespierre Building, she climbed the staircase until she reached the auditorium to the History class and despite herself, her eyes scanned for Carmilla, who was obviously seated in the furthest corner of the auditorium with eyes closed. 

       People were already greeting each other and chatting as the classroom started to fill up, but Laura climbed up the rows of chairs and her mind began to race with how her relationship with Carmilla had evolved in the next couple of weeks after they had lunch together. At first Laura thought things were going to get awkward between them both, but she noticed how in their History class, whoever arrived first saved a seat for the other. Or while they were in Figure Drawing, Laura noticed how Carmilla would compliment her work, or would tease her whenever they were alone during the ten-minute breaks Professor would give them.

       As she got closer, Laura noticed how peaceful and delicate Carmilla always seemed whenever she was asleep. She stood there for a second longer, observing Carmilla’s profile, the wavy strands of her hair falling on her shoulder and reached her breast. The way her chest rhythmically rose and fell and the way the creases in her shirt slightly shifted. If Laura had always admired Carmilla’s beauty, and if she didn’t had to remind herself every single day the words clearly spoken by Professor Belmont, she would have asked Carmilla on a date in a heartbeat. Automatically, Laura shook her head and pushed those sappy thoughts away, focusing once again on the present, when she suddenly realized there was a backpack in the chair next to her. 

       “Hey cupcake.” Carmilla said with a small smile on her lips, but her eyes still remained shut.

       “How…” Laura began to protest, but Carmilla moved her backpack from the chair and Laura sat down. “How did you know it was me?” 

       “Intuition.” Carmilla opened her eyes and looked around the auditorium before fixing her eyes on Laura.

       “So… How have you been?” Laura asked.

       “Meh. Can’t complain,” Carmilla shrugged her shoulders. “You?”

       “Same,” Laura copied Carmilla’s shrug, but she couldn’t help herself from smiling.

       “Are you ready for the exam?”

       Her heart sank and her smile fell to the floor. No, not even the floor. The sub-basement would be more accurate.

       “What?” Laura exclaimed a little bit louder than usual and people stared in her direction. “We are having an exam today? Holy shit, do you have a scantron and a blue book? No never mind, hold my seat I will go and buy one myself at the Library.” Laura was starting to gather her things. “How much time do I have?” She looks at the clock above the blackboard. “Shit, class starts in less than four minutes.” Carmilla started chuckling and Laura stopped on her tracks. “What’s so funny?”

       “I was just joking, sweetheart.”

       “What?! You almost gave me heart attack and you were  _ joking? _ ”

       Carmilla continued chuckling, and even though Laura tried to remain mad at her, it was becoming hard for her since Carmilla looked so beautiful smiling.

       “Yeah, and it was pretty funny to see you all freaked out.”

       “That was  _ not _ funny, Carmilla.” And as if on queue, the other girl started laughing even more.

       Frustrated, Laura slumped back on her chair and crossed her arms before she took out her notebook and a pencil, fumbling as Carmilla continued laughing.

       “That bunched up face you do when you’re angry is hilarious, buttercup.”

       Several seconds passed and Professor Vordenberg entered the classroom, closed and locked the door behind him, signalling class was about to start and that no more students were allowed. He  went to the computer and meddled with it for a couple of minutes before the screen was brought to life with the cover from a slideshow that said “Dark Ages and the Aftermath of the Bubonic Plague,” as it was clearly stated in the cover page of the screen in front of her. 

       “For decades, the civilizations all across Europe had extremely poor sanitary habits. I remember that I once read in a book while I was a young lad back when I was giving a seminar in…”

       Laura started taking notes from what Professor Vordenberg was talking about, thinking that despite his never-ending rambling there was going to be something important that could come on the midterm that the book did not covered. She was about to reach the end of the page when suddenly she felt a finger poke her ribs and her hand created a very prominent line across the paper as a reflex from what happened a second ago.  _ Dammit _ , Laura glared at Carmilla, who was writing on her notebook. Taking her eraser and did her best to rub out the line when Carmilla took her notebook away.

       “Carmilla,” Laura whispered, “give me back my notebook.”

       “No.” Carmilla answered and poked Laura once again.

       “Stop it, you’re going to get us both kicked out of the classroom.”

       “Pfff, please.”

       “Carmilla, I mean it. Give me my notebook back.” Three seconds passed, but Laura remained serious. 

       “He’s practically a dinosaur. He doesn’t notice anything as long as he’s talking.” Carmilla said but Laura glared at her. The former rolled her eyes and said, “You’re no fun.” She huffed and handed Laura her notebook back, but as soon as she was about to start taking notes, Carmilla drew a huge line all over the page with her pen.

       “Are you kidding me?” Laura whispered.

       “Try taking that away, cutie.” 

       She was getting pretty annoyed, and it was obvious that Carmilla was enjoying herself a little bit too much. As a result, Laura gave her a death stare, making her sigh and added, 

       “Fine, I won’t bother you anymore.”

       Laura tried to pay attention to the class but it was now useless. The huge line on her sheet of paper bothered her too much that she started rubbing it off with her eraser.  _ If only you weren’t so freaking sexy and beautiful and I didn’t liked you more than I should,  _ she thought while her eraser moved frantically across the page. But instead of making it better it was getting worse as a third of her notes had disappeared before her eyes. She dropped her eraser on the top of the small foldable table and slumped further on her chair, pretending to be listening to whatever Professor Vordenberg was talking about. Laura continued frantically taking notes on the lecture before a hand took a hold of her notebook, but she was quick enough to stop Carmilla from snatching it from her. Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, Laura tried to recover her notebook without making much noise, when a finger poked her rib once again and her reflex took over, bending herself until she was almost touching Carmilla’s shoulder with her cheek. 

       “Stop it.” Laura turned and they both froze in their place, their faces so close together that Laura felt her heart skip a beat. 

       She waited for Carmilla to give each other some distance, to break the moment they were obviously having in the middle of the class when suddenly Professor Vordenberg raised his voice.

       “... So you see? It’s because of people who do not pay attention that are the ones that always end up getting the lower hand of everything. You two,” he snapped his fingers and Laura distanced herself from Carmilla and looked towards her professor. “Yes, you. The one with the gray sweater and the girl with the black leather jacket.” People turned around and Laura noticed that he was referring to them. “What’s your name?”

       “Me?” Laura asked raising her eyebrows and pointed at herself. Professor Vordenberg nodded and she suddenly felt a cold shiver run down her spine. “Laura Hollis.” 

       “Miss Hollis and company, ” he said and pressed his hands together. “Would you please be so kind as to leave this classroom?”

       “What? But Professor Vorden—”

       “—Please Miss Hollis, I don’t want to hear your excuses. You obviously are too busy with the lady next to you,” he pointed at Carmilla. “What is your name?”

       “Carmilla.” Professor Vordenberg placed his hand in his ear as if he didn’t hear well. “Karnstein,” She slightly raised her voice.

       “Miss Hollis and Miss Karnstein. I expect to not see this type of behavior for the remaining of the semester,” they started walking down the stairs of the auditorium when he headed towards the door and unlocked it for them. “Oh and one more thing,” he added as they both crossed the door frame, “please be aware that I will lower a full letter in your next exam. Good day.”

       And slammed the door behind them. 

       “Dammit.”

       “Asshole.” Carmilla said in a not so subtle voice. “Oh shit, he’s coming back. Run!”

       They both sprinted towards the staircase and ran all the way until they reached the door and exited the building. Once outside, Laura took a deep breath and tried to compose herself, when suddenly it dawned on her that she had never been kicked out of a class before. A part of her felt guilty, dirty, and hoped that Professor Vordenberg wouldn’t fulfill his threat of lowering her grade, but the other part of her felt exhilarated, liberated from not having to listen to him ramble anymore.

       “Everything okay in there, cutie?”

       “Yeah, I um… I’m fine.”

       “Are you sure? You don’t seem to be from where I’m standing.”

       Several seconds passed before she answered,

       “Would you believe me if I tell you that this is actually the first time I have ever been kicked out of a class?”

       “Seriously?” Laura shook her head. “But you have ditched a class before, right?” Laura remained silent, her expression sheepish. “Ugh, you’re killing me, Hollis.”

       “It’s not my fault my dad was overprotective and that he was friends with most of my teachers.”

       “You must have had a really hard time at school growing up.”

       “No, it was actually pretty fun. I mean, there were obvious things I couldn’t even think about doing because I knew my dad will figure out sooner or later and then he would kill me. But I mean, it was fun for the most part.”

       Carmilla smiled and shook her head. And Laura noticed how she began to walk away without saying a word, before she turned and seemed to look for Laura. She motioned with her hand to be joined and Laura hurriedly walked over to Carmilla, before Laura felt a warmth in her hand and noticed how Carmilla linked her hand with hers. They held hands, like hand on hand, not linking their fingers like couples do, but even that gesture caused the Laura’s heart to palpitate with a passion.  _ Oh my god, Laura? Laura Hollis, keep your cool. This is nothing new to either of you, but I mean, she has never done this before. Are we a thing? No, Laura, don’t hold hands with her. You can get in trouble, even though it feels amazing to hold her hand. No, stop it. Dammit, my hands are getting sweaty. I hope Carmilla doesn’t notice.  _ But she did, and every now Carmilla unlinked their hands and Laura quickly wiped them in the side of their pants, but despite Laura thinking they wouldn’t relink them, Carmilla’s hand would always find its way and rejoined them. 

       “So where do you want to go?” Carmilla asked after a short period of silence between them. “Now that we don’t have to listen to that idiot ramble about history.”

       “I don’t know, wherever you’d like, I guess.”

       “Are you sure? Cause I could take you to to a strip club, or to one of the shity bars near campus.”

       “You wouldn’t.” Laura stopped on her tracks and that caused their hands to break contact, but soon Carmilla looked down, relinked them and continued walking.

       “Tell me, what are some things you have always wanted to do but never did because you were so busy with school and classes?”

       “Everything,” Laura answered without hesitation, but then checked her phone and noticed she had several text messages waiting for her from the group message she had with her roommates.

 

Danny (10:53 am):     Hey Laura do you want to meet Perry, LaF and me for lunch?

LaF (10:57 am):          She won’t be joining us today, Danny.

Danny (10:57 am):     Why not?

LaF (10:58 am):          Just saw her walking hand in hand with someone.

Danny (10:58 am):     What?!

LaF (10:59 am):          Bet you $15 that it’s Carmilla.

Perry (11:00 am):       Wait, why aren’t you in class?

Danny (11:01 am):     How did she looked like?

LaF (11:01 am):          Who?

Perry (11:01 am):       Laura Hollis, did you just ditch a class?

Danny (11:02 am):      The girl that Laura was walking with?

LaF (11:02 am):          Oh! Slightly taller than L, black clothes, badass attitude.

Danny (11:04 am):     You go, little nerd Hottie! Kirsch.

Perry (11:04 am):       You and I will have a serious discussion, young lady.

LaF (11:05 am):          Too late for that Perr. 

 

       “Everything alright, cupcake?” Carmilla asked and Laura quickly started typing on her phone.

 

Laura (11:22 am):        Ugh, you guys are the worst.

LaF (11:23 am):          But you love us anyways.

Danny (11:23 am):     Be careful Hollis.

Danny (11:24 am):     GET. IT. HOLLIS! KIRSCH

LaF (11:24 am):          May the Force be with you, L.

Perry (11:25 am):       I still think this is a bad idea.

 

       “Yeah,” Laura answered as she typed her answer, a smile plastered on her face.

 

Laura (10:44 am):        I will :)

 

       “So… where do you want to go?”

 

* * *

 

 

       Laura couldn’t believe where Carmilla took her. Not only it was two bus rides away from the university, but it was one of the largest record stores she had ever seen. It was the largest and only one she had ever been to, if she was being honest with herself. But what struck her the most was seeing how happy Carmilla looked being surrounded by thousands upon thousands of records.

       At first Laura scanned through the new records section, bumping into Florence + The Machine, Of Monsters and Men, Vampire Weekend, Halsey, The 1975, when she looked up and noticed Carmilla browsing through records at the end of the aisle. Without noticing which record she took, Laura slowly headed over to where Carmilla was, but even though her pace was slow, she could not help herself from observing her movements.

       She noticed how Carmilla’s fingers barely touched the records as she pushed them to her front, how her neck stretched from trying to look at the furthest album covers, and how every once in awhile her fingers would caress her hair, pushing it out of the way before she resumed her search. Or how she stopped, her eyes focused on something, she would reach out for the record and the faintest smile would appear in her lips, before she pulled the record and observed the back of it before placing it back on the stacks. At that time, Laura thought Carmilla looked like a child in a toy store or at Disneyland, or like in her case, in the cookie aisle at the supermarket.

       “Did you find something?” Laura asked as she approached Carmilla.

       “I actually did,” Carmilla replied smiling, pulling out an album from a neighbor stack and turned to Laura. “And you?”

       Laura showed Carmilla the record she picked.

       “Didn’t knew you were into One Direction, cutie. But you’re still beautiful even if you have very poor taste in music.”

       “What? No, I mean. I…” Laura struggled to find the words, but Carmilla chuckled and took Laura’s hand.

       “Come on, I want to show you something.”

       Carmilla led Laura to a section filled with record players, but even though there were headphones available, Carmilla pulled a set from of the pockets in her jacket. She plugged the headphones to the record player, and took a step closer to Laura.

       “May I?” She asked, holding one bud closer to Laura.

       She nodded, and Carmilla took another step closer to her and with her free hand, she brushed Laura’s hair out of her ear. Without noticing it, Laura closed her eyes at the touch and tried with all her strength to not lean into the touch, when she felt Carmilla gently place the earpiece inside her ear and caressed her hair once she was done. 

       “There’s um… There’s a song I would like you to listen.”

       “What’s it called?”

       “You’ll know,” Carmilla placed the other headphone and secured it in her ear.

       Laura opened her eyes and could see something shifted in Carmilla, who took the record out of its sleeve and placed it on the turntable, held the needle with one finger and slowly placed it on the record.

 

_[All I want to get is](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9e9NSMY8QiQ)  
A little bit closer _

 

       Laura immediately recognized the song and the only thing she could do was to look at Carmilla.

_ All I wanna know is,  
_ _ Can you come a little closer? _

 

       Carmilla looked at her, but then her eyes focused on the floor, on the record, on her nails. Laura’s heart started hammering in her breast, and she felt how her body started shaking with exhilaration when it dawned on her what Carmilla had been trying to tell her.

 

 _Here comes the breath before we get a little bit closer_ _  
__Here comes the rush before we touch, come a little closer_

 _The doors are open, the wind is really blowing_ _  
__The night sky is changing overhead_

 

       With her eyes fixed upon Carmilla, Laura knew that Carmilla was nervous. And then she thought it so silly how a girl that was so beautiful, who posed naked in front of dozens of students and had the attitude of a total badass, could be nervous. Laura wanted to smile, she wanted to sing the lyrics to do something to get Carmilla’s attention, whose eyes focused on anything except her. She wanted to reach out for her, god, she wanted to do that more than anything in the world.

 

 _It's not just all physical_ _  
__I'm the type who won't get oh so critical_ _  
__So let's make things physical_ _  
___I won't treat you like you're oh so typical

 

       “Carm?” Laura whispered, but Carmilla didn’t listened.

       Something beyond herself took over her entire being, and Laura slowly, hesitantly, reached out for Carmilla’s hand and barely touched it. The light touch seemed to bring Carmilla to her senses, and looked down at their hands before Laura slowly reached out for her neck. They fixed their eyes upon each other, and for a long second Laura could only hear the hammering of her heartwhile the music became part of the background. 

 

_ I want you close, I want you  
_ _ I won’t treat you like you’re typical _

 

       Laura leaned closer to Carmilla and then stopped. Her eyelids half-closed and expectant.

 

_ I want you close, I want you  
_ _ I won’t treat you like you’re typical _

 

       Her eyes focused on Carmilla’s lips, how they slowly parted but there was a hesitation lingering between them. Laura’s head was racing and the sudden remembrance of Professor Belmont’s words from her first day in school came back. For the split of a second, Laura had an internal struggle whether to back away and continue having an extremely platonic friendship with the girl standing in front of her.

 

_ Here comes the dreams of you and me, here come the dreams. _

 

_        What the hell. _ Laura closed the almost invisible distance between them and kissed her. 

       A rush of adrenaline flooded Laura that she forgot how to breathe. The music that was fractions of a second before was in the back of her mind suddenly was now loud enough that her heart imitated the beat of the song. They kissed each other and Laura tried to keep herself from jumping up and down from excitement, from finally being able to kiss Carmilla, when suddenly she felt a pair of warm and gentle hands cup her cheeks. That sent a new rush through her entire being that she kissed Carmilla more passionately.

       They kissed for the remainder of the song and once it ended, Carmilla slowly removed herself from Laura but her eyes remained close. Their noses brushed and Laura could feel Carmilla’s breath close to her skin, the ghost of Carmilla’s kiss, and wanted more than anything to relink their lips but her mind told her that it wasn’t the best place to have a make-out session. Laura opened her eyes and witnessed how Carmilla’s eyelids slowly opened and both girls focused on each other. Carmilla licked her lips, making Laura think that was the sexiest thing Carmilla had ever done before it was replaced by a shy smile.

       Without thinking, Laura once again kissed Carmilla, this time more tenderly, more careful that once they broke contact Laura took Carmilla’s hand in hers and smiled a beaming smile at each other.

       “Was that okay?” Laura asked and Carmilla beamed with happiness.

       “Yeah. I um…” Carmilla licked her lips and Laura thought she couldn’t breathe. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

       “Me too.” Laura reciprocated the smile and they gazed at each other.

       “We should go.”

       “Why?”

       “I don’t want your roommates think that I kidnapped you or anything.”

       “Must we go?” Lara pouted and that made Carmilla chuckle. It was tender and it made Laura feel like she had fallen more in love with the girl in front of her.

       “Yes, we must. Besides,” Carmilla linked her fingers to Laura’s, “I don’t want to get on your roommate's bad side.”

       They leaned and kissed once again before they exited the record store and walked to the bus stop, their hands never disconnecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you so much for leaving me kudos, and bookmarking this fic and I love to hear your reactions from the chapter. Hopefully the next chapter will be uploaded soon and check out my other fics if you haven't already!


	3. Chapter 3

       “Are you sure you want to do this?” Laura said as they began to climb the stairs to the front door of her house.

       “We didn’t spend all this money in doughnuts for you to chicken out at the last minute.”

       “I’m not…” Laura was about to protest but stopped herself. “I’m not chickening out, Carmilla.”

       “Oh really? And what could I possibly do to convince you that this is will work out?” Carmilla leaned closer and bit her lip, one hand reaching out to hold Laura’s waist while the other was busy holding the box of doughnuts.

       “Maybe we could just stay here and—.”

       “—Laura Eileen Hollis.” Perry appeared at the door and said in her typical motherly voice. “Do you know how worried we were about you?”

       “What? Oh, hi Perry.” Laura said in a chirpy voice. She was in so much trouble.

       Suddenly, LaFontaine, Danny and even Kirsch appeared behind the door and even before both girls could pass the threshold, LaFontaine snatched the box of doughnuts from Carmilla and all three of them scrambled to the kitchen. Perry led them to the living room, and both Laura and Carmilla followed close behind her, Laura griping at Carmilla’s hand.

       “Oh, they got the one with the jelly filling?” Kirsch could be head in the distance. “You got a keeper, Little Nerd Hottie.”

       “Meh, she’s alright,” Danny exclaimed.

       “I call dibs on the one with the bits of Choko Crunch at the top,” LaFontaine said.

       “Hey, guys. There’s one for each of you. And leave one for Carm and for myself,” Laura called out to the kitchen, as Perry, Carmilla and herself sat down on the sofa in the living room. “There’s one for you as well, Perry.”

       “I appreciate the sentiment Laura, but don’t expect me to just forget that you decided to ditch an entire day of classes.”

       “It wasn’t the entire day, We made it through half of History before—”

       “—before you got kicked out of the class?” Perry looked at both of them. “May I remind you once again that I have eyes and ears everywhere, young lady.”

       “Whoa, that’s scary.” Carmilla said in a low voice.

       “Carm, shhhhh,” Laura lightly slapped Carmilla’s thigh.

       “Okay listen, Betty Crocker. I get that you were concerned for Laura, but I don’t think you should freak out the way that you did. Laura is old enough to make her own decisions and I will give you my word that the ditching part won’t happen again. At least for the remainder of the semester.” Carmilla extended her neck and added, “and I would love to continue with this conversation, but think you should go and grab your doughnut because from what I am looking, your little buddies are about to eat it.”

       “Yes Perry, you should go. Um, which one was it, Carm?” 

       “The one that is covered with cinnamon sugar, right?”

       “Oh yeah, that one.”

       Perry’s eyes bulged, quickly glanced towards the kitchen before she hastily rose where LaFontaine had already placed it in a small plate and was holding it for her.

       “Saved it for you, Perr.”

       “Oh, thank you sweetie,” She replied and gave them a peck on the lips before turning to Laura and Carmilla. “This discussion is not over, ladies.” The discussion was totally over.

       Laura turned and noticed Carmilla was observing the small gathering at the table.

       “Is everything okay, Carm? Wait, does it bother you if I call you Carm instead of Carmilla?”

       “I like it.” She smiled and kissed Laura’s temple. “You are a lucky girl, you know that?”

       “Why, because I finally got to kiss you?”

       “Aside from that.” She turned once again and looked at the kitchen. “Because you have people that love and care about you.” Laura noticed how Carmilla’s eyes became sad for the split of a second, before her lips curled and linked her hand with Laura’s. “Come on, let’s go and grab our doughnuts before the beefcake eats them.”

       They quickly rose and headed over the kitchen and they all talked about their classes and laughed. They drank coffee and finished their doughnuts, and Carmilla remained in the house until late in the evening talking with the roommates. Laura smiled at the thought that everything would be alright.

 

* * *

 

       “How do you know so much about this?” Laura looked up and noticed Carmilla’s eyes already fixed on her and realized there was something in them. Like she was studying or observing Laura closely. Laura blushed and and hid her face for a second before she looked once again at Carmilla, who gave her a shy smile.

       “About what, specifically?” 

       “Remember when the semester first started and you told me about how you liked my gesture drawings?” Laura looked back and erased a smudge from her drawing, and then went back again and smudged with her charcoal stained finger, completely oblivious of Carmilla’s blushing cheeks. “You told me you liked my lines, remember?”

       “Yeah, I remember. What about it?”

       “Was that a genuine compliment or were you just trying to hit on me?”

       “Pfff. Hit on you, of course!” Carmilla replied and then she effortlessly ducked a flying piece of paper Laura threw in her direction. “I’m kidding, kidding. No, I actually took drawing lessons when I first started in college. That’s how I met Mattie.”

       “Oh really?” Carmilla hummed in affirmation. “Wait, you were an Art major?”

       “No. I just like art in general.” Carmilla looked once again at Laura. “Are you almost done with your homework, Laura?”

       “Almost.” Laura replied and they remained silent, Carmilla went back to her reading while Laura finished her homework. 

       Several minutes passed while Laura continued working on her Figure Drawing homework. But in that interval of time, Laura remembered how different her relationship with Carmilla is compared to her past girlfriends. It was different because, in the case of her ex-girlfriends, seeing them naked provoked a desire, a lust that always ended up in sex. 

       But not Carmilla. 

       Even though she had seen her nude and stared at her for extended periods of time, Laura never got tired from looking at her body. And what was even more weird, the level of desire she once felt was now replaced by something deeper. She had memorized the length of Carmilla’s fingers, the darkness of her eyes, the way her nose was slightly pointy in the end, and even the softness of her lips and the curve of her jaw connecting her neck and collarbones. Laura had fallen in love with the curves of her calves, of her waist, the shadows her abdomen created and the small dimples in her lower back. She loved the delicacy of her shoulders and the small hollowed spaces that connected her clavicle with her neck.

       As Laura was about to finish, she observed the accuracy of her drawing and compared it to the girl in front of her, surprised at how much she had evolved in her technique and even in getting the proportions right. But a major part of the credit was due to Carmilla, who unconsciously would stand still for long periods of time, allowing Laura the perfect opportunity of practicing.

       Perfecting some minor details, Laura glanced one last time at Carmilla and then at her sketch and a sense of accomplishment flooded her. She placed her sketchbook aside and said,

       “Okay, I’m done.”

       “Ugh finally!” Carmilla snapped her book shut, stretched her limbs and walked over to sit next to Laura in her bed. “Did you know you take forever to do your homework?”

       “Well, maybe having a beautiful, sexy model in front of me is too distracting.”

       “Oh, really? Maybe we should call your roommates to pose for you and that would solve the problem.”

       “No!” Laura quickly replied and Carmilla chuckled as she walked and lied down on Laura’s bed and Laura followed. “No, it’s okay. I mean they wouldn’t be as awesome at posing like you are. And besides, it’s your fault because you have a tendency to  _ never _ move, and I take advantage of the situation.”

       “Maybe I don’t move because I know that you’re going to end up drawing me.”

       “Does it bother you? I mean, when I draw you?”

       “No. But I am beginning to think that I should charge in some way or other,” Carmilla gave her a playful smirk.

       “Oh really?”

       “Yep.” Carmilla leaned and gave Laura a peck on her lips. “But first, you have to wash your hands.”

       “Why?”

       “What do you mean ‘why?’ Look at them, they’re all dirty.”

       “Oh come on, they’re not that bad.” Laura said but Carmilla only stared at her. “Ugh, fine. I’ll go and wash my hands.” 

       She rose and reluctantly walked to the bathroom to wash her hands. It took her three times to completely get rid of the graphite from her hands and nails. And a smudge on her cheek. Once she was done, she headed back to her room and found Carmilla sprawled on her bed, her face resting on her yellow pillow.

       “Is it really necessary for you to occupy every inch of my bed?”

       “It’s a really comfy bed, Laura.” Carmilla replied, but eventually moved when Laura climbed on the bed and they faced each other. “Okay so, what is it you wanted to tell me?”

       Laura thought for a second, and maybe at the time it seemed like a good idea. But now that she thought about it, it sounded extremely stupid.

       “Nah, nothing. It wa something stupid.”

       “What? Oh come on, Laura. Tell me.”

       “No.”

       “It isn’t stupid if it was important to you.” 

       They faced each other and even though they weren’t doing anything, Laura was concerned that Perry would suddenly appear in her room like she sometimes accustomed. There were several rules in the house, but the open door policy was one that Perry enforced the most. If Perry and LaFontaine ever decided to adopt children, laura was feeling sorry for them.

       “Can I tell you something and you won’t laugh?”

       “I can’t promise you that, cupcake.” Carmilla smiled and reached out to placate a loose strand from Laura’s hair. “But I’ll do my best.”

       “I um…” Laura thought about her words for a while. “Do you want to grab some coffee? Or some food?”

       “No. I want you to tell me what you were going to say.”

       “Are you sure you don’t want anything?”

       “Laura.” Carmilla placed her hand on top of Laura’s. “Are you going to tell me or not?”

       “Promise you won’t laugh?” Laura fixed her eyes upon Carmilla’s. The latter shook her head.

       Laura thought of her options, and the more she thought about them, the less she could utter the words. Taking a deep breath, Laura blurted out the words,

       “I used to see you naked.” She noticed Carmilla’s eyebrows slowly lift themselves up, followed by a smile.

       “I hate to break it to you, cutie, but you’re not the first one,” Laura could tell she was fighting the urge to laugh.

       “No, Carm! What I meant was…” She blew some raspberries and added, “Whenever I used to see you in History class, my mind would automatically take your clothes off.”

       “Was that why you couldn’t look at me in the eye?” But Carmilla was laughing, and every second that passed it increased until Laura became too embarrassed and hid her head in her yellow pillow. 

       “I told you not to laugh!”

       “Okay, okay. I’m sorry for laughing.” And she burst in laughter once again.  _ I shouldn’t have told her. Now she’ll think that I’m a loser and a pervert.  _ “Hey come on, look at me,” Carmilla tried to move Laura, but she would not budge. Her embarrassment was too much. “Hey, it’s okay. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

       “It’s easy for you to say.” Laura poked her head out from her pillow and noticed a tenderness in Carmilla’s eyes.

       “Has anybody ever told you that you look cute when you’re embarrassed?”

       “Many people have, actually.”

       “Parents don’t count, cupcake.” Carmilla smiled. “Okay now I have to ask you something,” Carmilla asked and Laura nodded. “Do you still see me naked or am I clothed now?” Laura took several seconds to answer.

       “Clothed.”

       “Shame on your brain,” Carmilla said and earned a slap in her arm before she pounced and got on top of Laura and began to tickle her.

       Despite her protests for her to stop, both girls laughed together before Laura rolled herself and landed on top of Carmilla and they both froze, looked at each other before Laura locked lips with her. She loved kissing Carmilla for many reasons. But one of them was that it always felt like Carmilla meant the kiss and every single one of them felt different. Carmilla freed one of her wrists from Laura’s grip and held Laura’s neck and travelled to her cheek and then down to her arm. The kiss prolonged and became more heated, when,

       “Hey Laura, I’m gonna make some more coffee, do you want… some?” The door suddenly opened and there was Danny.

_        Ugh, Danny Lawrence I swear I’m going to kill you _ , Laura thought as she both distanced and composed herself.

       “Um, no Danny I’m fine. Carm do you want coffee?”

       “I’m fine, thanks,” Carmilla replied, but her tone came out irritated and Danny left. “Don’t your roommates ever knock?”

       “They never do with me, because I used to be the only single in the house,” Carmilla groaned and Laura peppered her with light kisses. “But I’m glad I have you now.”

       “Me too. Even if your roommates don’t let us have privacy?”

       “Don’t be such a hater, Carm.” 

       “Haters gotta hate, creampuff.”

       Carmilla kissed Laura.

       “You’re the worst, did anybody ever tell you that?”

       “I thought you said I was beautiful and sexy.”

       “Oh my god.” Lara hid her face on Carmilla’s neck. “Will you stop it?” 

       “Make me,” Carmilla replied and Laura locked lips with her.

 

* * *

 

       It was the week of midterms and all the inhabitants, and their guests, spent their time studying and preparing for their upcoming exams or papers due. Perry had been so stressed that she decided to clean every inch of the house, twice, and if everyone left something out of place would get a scold from her. LaFontaine spent more time in the lab than in the house, while Danny spent time with her Summer Society sisters or in the painting studio. Kirsch was probably either with Danny, or with his Zeta Omega Mu bros. Probably drinking beer and preparing the Post-Midterm Bash instead of doing their homework, or even studying.

       Laura, on the other hand, was so overwhelmed with work, papers, her portfolio and the upcoming exams that she was sure she was going to have a nervous breakdown by the end of the day. And even though the house was quiet during these few days, she spent most of her spare time at the Fine Arts Building, finishing up her portfolio. Not that it was the best option, either. The constant interruptions from the students, or her runs to the Library to buy herself some hot chocolate or even coffee, depending on how stressed she was, or even having text conversations with Carmilla didn’t allowed her to focus entirely on the unfinished piece in front of her.

       It was something she was always particular about when it came to her portfolios, especially in her Figure Drawing class. She would look at the drawing, make a small change on it, take a step back and examine it again before repeating the same process over and over again. Her right hand slowly got stained with graphite or charcoal or even her conte crayons, while the left one held the eraser and the tips were beginning to get stained. Making a correction on her drawing, Laura took a step back and observed her drawing, her mind wandered to the evening she drew Carmilla posing for that evening during class. 

       Her mind gravitated on the thought of how soft Carmilla’s hands were, how soft they felt when she touched her cheek. The tickling feeling when they caressed her arm, before stopping in the palm of her hand and slithered her fingers with hers. Laura remembered the electrical sensation whenever Carmilla took even the slightest of steps towards her, their breasts vaguely touching that made Laura heart hammer in her ribcage. How Laura instinctively took another step closer to Carmilla, the warmth their bodies radiated from each other was accentuated when she could feel the ghost of Carmilla’s lips, her breath filled with—

       “Hey Hollis,” Danny’s voice abruptly brought her back to reality.

       “Huh— Hey, Danny.”

       “What are you doing?”

       “Me? Oh, I was just working on my portfolio.” Laura shook her previous thoughts away. “What are you doing here?”

       “I just wanted to check up on you. And I just needed some time away from the painting fumes.”

       Danny sat on a chair next to Laura, who resumed working on her drawing. The minutes passed, and even though Laura had brought her headphones with her, but sometimes she needed the silence to work better. There was something soothing in the sound of the charcoal being pressed against the paper, or her hands going over the paper.

       “Hey, Laura. Can I talk to you for a minute?”

       “Yeah, sure. What’s up Danny.”

       “I mean, can we talk in private?”

       She followed Danny outside of the classroom and they went through a set of doors, away from the rest of the students gathered there working to finish their projects due by the end of the week.

       “Is everything okay?”

       “I um… I just wanted to um…,” her features were serious, but Laura waited somewhat patiently for her to continue.

       There was something in Danny’s eyes that reminded Laura of the time she asked her for the first time if they could talk. Laura remembered how her heart hammered against her chest as Danny took her underneath a flight of stairs and confessed she had feelings for her. It had been years ago, when they were both new to Silas and before Danny even got together with Kirsch, but even though Laura was amazed by Danny’s bravery and her loyalty as a friend, her feelings for her never went beyond a friendship. But now that Danny and Kirsch were together and were pretty serious, Laura’s head began to think of all the possible scenarios for Danny to want to talk with Laura in private.

       Laura looked up to see Danny’s face, whose lips opened and closed several times, but no words came out from them. 

       “I don’t even know how to say this.”

       “Just say it, Danny. It’s okay.”

       Danny took a deep breath and said after several seconds.

       “Laura, what are you doing?”

       The question took Laura by surprise. Out of all the scenarios her mind had pictured, she never expected such a question from Danny.

       “I’m… working on my portfolio?”

       “No, I mean… I mean with you and Carmilla.”

       “Nothing? We’re just girlfriends.” Laura was confused, but noticed that Danny’s eyes never looked at her for more than three seconds. “Danny, is something the matter?”

       “I… I know that you and Carmilla are together and I have to say that I am happy for you, I really am. I’m glad that you found someone that cares about you.”

       “Ummm… thanks, I guess?”

       “But that’s not what I wanted to say. I mean yes, but I wanted to say something else.” Danny added and they remained silent for a while. Laura knew that Danny was trying to choose her words, and it was putting her on edge. “Laura, did you ever stopped to think what would happen if Professor Belmont finds out about you two?”

       “Everything’s gonna be fine, Danny.” Laura reached and touched Danny’s arm in comfort. “Carm and I already talked about this, okay? Don’t worry about it.”

       “And what about the rumors?” Danny lowered her voice and stepped a little bit closer to Laura. “I have been hearing rumors going on around the building. About how one of the models used to sleep with a lot of girls at parties and got herself in trouble because of it. I mean, no one has ever said a name in specific, but how do we know that it isn’t Carmilla?” A side of Laura wanted to say that Carmilla had genuine feelings for her, but this was new information she had never heard before. “Laura, you know that I care about you, and I don’t want to see you getting hurt because you are not thinking things through.”

       “Danny, I appreciate your concern, but I don’t think you have a right to—.”

       “—You could get an F. You could be sent to the Dean of Students. That is something you shouldn’t take lightly .”

       “I’m not.” Laura’s voice came out serious. “Carm and I agreed to keep this a secret as long as possible.”

       “Are you sure she’s not just using you like she did with all of the other girls?”

       “How can you even assume that it’s Carm the one that the rumors are about?” Laura looked at Danny with a stern look in her eyes. She understood that Danny was concerned about her well-being, but there were times that she came out as over-protective. Like this one.

       It bothered her that people always wanted to protect her from anything happening to her. Maybe it was because she was short, but that didn’t meant that she was incapable of taking care of herself, and this was not the exception.

       “I just don’t want you getting in trouble because of a girl.”

       “I won’t.” Laura resumed walking in silence back to the classroom. “And Carmilla is not  _ just _ a girl.”

       Laura turned and walked away, leaving Danny behind and returned to her drawing, but there was something bothering her in the back of her mind. Deep down, Laura was aware that Carmilla liked and cared about her, but she remembered there were rumors going on about a model. At first, Laura didn’t paid attention since it didn’t had anything to do with her, but then she remembered Carmilla’s response to one of their many conversations.  _ “Was that a genuine compliment or were you just trying to hit on me?” Lara asked and Carmilla answered with, “hit on you, of course!”  _

       Her mind went to overdrive, thinking that maybe this had been Carmilla’s plan all along and the fact that Laura was so eager to talk with her made it easier for her to accomplish her mission. But then Laura thought of the things that Carmilla did towards her that proved that she was not playing with her feelings. But then she remembered that she was the one that invited Carmilla for lunch, was eager to go along with her when Vordenberg kicked them out of his class, and was the first one to close the distance and kiss the other. 

       The realization shook her to the ground that although her heart was telling her that Carmilla indeed liked her, her mind was telling her otherwise. Panic over flooded her that the more she tried to justify Carmilla’s behavior towards her. It occurred to her that maybe Carmilla was not the over-affectionate type, that she expressed her emotions in a different way. And they hadn’t had sex yet, which according to the rumors that was the only thing that Carmilla seeked in other girls.

       Laura clinged to that thought that maybe Carmilla indeed had true feelings for her, that she wasn’t just playing with her and that maybe, maybe the rumors were about someone else and not her girlfriend.

       Frantically, Laura picked her materials, saved them in her locker and left the building. As she started walking, her hand reached out for her cell phone, and there was a message waiting for her. Hours ago, it would have placed a smile on her lips. But now the words felt sour as her eyes read the message from Carmilla.

 

Carm (10:34 pm):        Hey sweetheart. Just finished my shift. Are you still at the Fine Arts building?

Laura (10:35 pm):        Have you left the coffee shop?

Carm (10:35 pm):        I’m about to leave. Meet you in your house?

Laura (10:36 pm):        Stay there. I’m heading your way.

 

       Laura picked up her pace and with every step that brought her closer to the coffee shop, the louder her thoughts were becoming. She tried to compose herself, to clear her mind, something to keep her cool. But the moment she saw Carmilla sitting in a nearby bench, instead of feeling relief, her emotions intensified and her resolution to find the truth, and became even more aggravated when Carmilla turned her face and spotted a tired smile on her cheeks.

       “Hey, cutie,” Carmilla stood up and her hands slithered around Laura’s waist. “How was your day?”

       “Fine,” Carmilla leaned in and gave her a kiss, but not even that soothed the anger bubbling underneath her skin. “And you?”

       “Better now that you’re here.” They began walking in the direction towards the house at a slow pace, holding hands. “Did you finished your portfolio?”

       “No.” Laura replied.

       “I thought you said you were going to stay at the Art building till you were done.”

       “Something happened.”

       “Is everything okay?” Carmilla asked and Laura remained silent. “Hey, Laura. What’s going on? Did something happened to your drawings?”

       “No.”

       “Then what happened?”

       Laura stopped and Carmilla did the same. 

       “Nothing.”

       “Laura, I know something’s bothering you,” Carmilla turned to face her. “You know you can tell me, right?” Laura could tell she was being sincere, and at that moment her heart was telling her that Carmilla indeed cared about her, but her mind needed to know the truth. “Laura, what the hell is going on?”

       “I um… I need to ask you something.” Laura waited for Carmilla’s response, but the latter nodded in affirmation, her eyes filled with concern. She who took a deep breath, and the anger and disappointment that she felt thirty minutes ago was now replaced by nervousness. For a moment, Laura thought of letting it go, of not saying anything out loud in order to prevent hurting Carmilla’s feelings. But deep down inside of her, she knew she needed to know the truth despite feelings being hurt and probably trust being breached between both of them.

       “I want to ask you that… I mean I know that they’re probably not true, but… I still need to know. I…” Oh god this is more difficult than what I expected. “I heard some rumors going on, I mean, they have been going on for some time already at the Fine Arts building. About one of the models having sex with a lot of girls… And—”

       “—And you want to know if I’m the one behind them?” Carmilla asked, but Laura couldn’t find the will to answer.  The seconds painfully dragged between them. 

       “Yes.”

       “Yes,” Carmilla answered, and Laura felt as if the weight of the world had been suddenly dropped on her shoulders.

       “Am I just another name on your list of conquers, then?” Laura whispered.

       “No.” Carmilla fixed her eyes upon Laura. “No, Laura. I never thought of you as something to be conquered, or as  _ just _ another girl.”

       “And you expect me to believe you?”

       “Yes. Laura, even though I know you probably never will, I want you to understand that I was going through some very, very tough times back then. And if by the time I finish telling you, you still don’t believe me, then I will accept it and won’t bother or even talk to you ever again. 

       Carmilla took a deep breath and even though she seemed to be composed, Laura looked down and noticed her hands were shivering.

       “It was on my second year of college when it all happened. And even though it might seem like I am making this up, because, even I have to admit that it sounds like a telenovela, everything is true.” Carmilla huffed and gave Laura a sad smile, but then turned and her eyes seemed distant. 

       “In less than a year, the girl that I thought was the love of my life broke my heart and kicked me out of the apartment we were living together. When that happened, I crashed with friends whenever I could, but I was getting drunk almost every night to numb the pain, and slept with many girls because I wanted to feel something. But instead of helping me I started spiralling down more and more that my GPA got so low that I was almost kicked out from school. 

       “When my mother found out about everything I had done, she said I was a disgrace of a daughter for her and that she didn’t wanted to see me again.” Carmilla turned her head and faced Laura, and the latter’s heart broke when she saw tears coming down the former’s cheeks. “I thought that life had given up on me. But not Mattie. After one of her classes, she sat me down and we had a very long talk. And even though I knew that I didn’t deserved a chance, she gave it to me. She told me to draw the line on the sand and start from there.

       “So I did. She offered me to stay with her as long as I made the effort in getting my shit together. She became like a big sister for me, she gave me a second chance when I thought I didn’t deserved one, and even vouched for me when I was sent to the Dean of Students when I was placed on academic probation. I basically owe everything to Mattie.

       “Do you still live with her?”

       “No. I have my own place now, but she likes to come and visit every now and then just to check up on me.”

       “Does she know? About us?” Carmilla shook her head.

       “I promised her I wouldn’t do it again. And I kept my promise. There were girls that would literally drop themselves at my feet, but I kept my promise. Until I met you.

       “Me? Why do you say that this is different? That  _ I’m _ different?”

       “Because you  _ are _ different… even with your dorkiness and your awkwardness, you made me feel again. Laura, you made me feel something that I hadn’t been able to experience in a long time. I know that this is probably the cheesiest thing that I will say, but it’s true.” Carmilla smiled a shy smile and added, “it was the small things that I noticed about you that made me feel something. 

       “Like… I remember when the semester first started, how the way your eyes get so focused and you slightly furrow your brow whenever you were drawing me. Or even how you always manage to smudge either your cheek or your forehead with charcoal or graphite and never notice it. The way your hands move whenever you’re flustered or excited, or your hand still get sweaty whenever I hold them. And how I can tell about how you’re feeling just by looking at your eyes. How whenever you leave the drawing room you say bye to everybody and the few people left there stop whatever they are doing to say bye back.

       “I know you are different because I am both insanely happy and terrified whenever I’m with you, Laura.” Her tone became even more serious and her eyes expressed the same sentiment, but Laura could see a blush crawling up her cheeks. “But I know that it’s up to you whether or not you want to continue having a relationship with me. And that’s something I haven’t felt in a very long time because I don’t want to mess up what we have and that scares me to death because I am aware of who I used to be.”

       They both looked at each other for a while, but neither said a word. Laura thought of Carmilla’s words and the weight they carried with them. Yes, Laura’s feelings for Carmilla were deep, and what the girl standing next to her just said proved that she cared a lot as well. 

       “How can you be so sure that you’re the one that has to mess things up, why can’t it be me?” Laura asked.

       “Because I know that you would be incapable of doing anything stupid. But I would like for you to give me a chance to prove you that I’m serious. That this is not a game for me.”

       Laura was taken by surprise at Carmilla’s words, because it was true. She would rather die than hurt Carmilla, and even though her last words struck her to the bone, Laura understood why Carmilla said them. It was her sincerity that made her realize that her words were true, and even more because of how vulnerable and sincere her eyes were. Laura took a second longer before she said,

       “Promise me that from now on we will tell each other everything. No secrets, no lies. And that we will be honest with each other.”

       They looked at each other and Carmilla slowly extended her hand to touch Laura’s hair, pulling it behind her ear.

       “I promise.” Carmilla said and they both gazed at each other's eyes.

       “Can I tell you something?”

       “Anything.”

       “You are a total sap, Carm.”

       “Shut up.” Carmilla mumbled, but Laura saw her blush once again before she leaned closer and gave Carmilla a peck on her cheek.

 

* * *

 

 

       “Okay children, please pick up your portfolios from the desk in the back of the room and I’ll see you next class,” Mattie said and Laura began to store her belongings, noticing how her classmates hurried to check on their grades.

       She took her time to clean her workspace, store her belongings in her locker and washed her hands to remove the dark stains in her hands. When she came back, Danny was waiting at the door with her portfolio in hand.

       “What did you get, Hollis?”

       “I don’t know.”

       “You haven’t picked your portfolio yet.”

       “No. Why?”

       “It’s not in the pile with the rest of them.”

       Laura’s heart sank, thinking that maybe something had happened to it, or that maybe she had gotten such a bad grade that maybe—.

       “—Hey, Laura,” Mattie’s head poked from the door. “Would you mind if I talk to you for a minute?”

       A million thoughts stormed through Laura’s head as she continued walking to meet Professor Belmont, who was holding several of her drawings. With every step she took, Laura tried in vain to compose herself, but even though she was freaking out, her manners seemed relaxed.

       “Yes, Professor Belmont?”

       “Please, call me Mattie.”

       “Is everything alright, Prof— Mattie?”

       “I just wanted to tell you that I had been observing you for a while now.”  _ Oh god, she knows about you and Carmilla,  _ Laura thought _. Goddammit, she knows. No, Laura don’t freak out, if she says anything just deny it like you and Carmilla agreed. Just deny it.  _ “And I couldn’t help but notice,”  _ oh god, here it comes. _ “How much your work has evolved throughout the semester.”  _ Wait, what? _ “When you first started, I noticed you had potential, but I have to say you have impressed me with how much your work has changed.”

       “Oh,” _ Phew, that was close.  _ “Thanks, Mattie. That means a lot to me.”

       “It should. It’s not every day I tell one of my students that. And I would be doing you a disservice by not telling you the truth.”

       It was true. When they presented their midterm portfolios, Mattie criticized (or more accurately, made their poor souls cry) several of her classmate’s work that caused them to unexpectedly stop attending class. Mattie had earned the reputation of being, for the lack of a better word “a bitch,” but everyone who aced her class was probably gonna be very successful in the future. 

       “I hope you keep up this type of work until the semester ends.”

       “I will,” Laura replied and took her portfolio from Mattie.

       “I’m glad to hear you say it,” Mattie stood up, “it would be a shame to have to send you to the Dean of Students, wouldn’t it?”

       “Excuse me?”

       “Oh darling, did you think that I would never find out that there’s something going on between you and Carmilla?” She clicked her tongue. "I have known for a long time already."

       Laura froze.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> Soooooooo sorry for taking forever in updating this fic, but adulting has been hard that it hasn't allowed me to even think of something to write. I hope you like this new chapter even though it's not as long as the others.

       “Excuse me?” Laura couldn’t believe her ears.

       “Oh, Gidget,” Mattie stood up and began to walk around the classroom. “Do you think I am a fool? Did it never crossed that young, naive little head of yours that I would never notice the way you and Carmilla look at each other? Please.”

       Laura’s heart hammered against her ribcage that shook her body from head to toe. She knew she was in trouble, she just knew it. It was foolish of her to think that they could fool someone like Mattie, someone who obviously had known Carmilla for a very long time. Laura tried to remain cool, to compose herself and remembered her deal with Carmilla: If anything happened, they would both deny everything, even break up if it was necessary.

       “No, you are mistaken. There’s nothing going on between Carmilla and myself.”

       “Don’t lie,” Mattie’s eyes turned cold and Laura’s heart sank before Mattie smiled and her heart sank even more before she added. “I know you’re in the midst of being all innocent-till-proved-guilty about how you and Angel-pants over there,” her eyes went over Laura’s sketches, “are star-crossed. But that is no excuse for you to have broken one of my Cardinal Rules in this class.”

       Laura took a breath, but that didn’t do anything to dissipate her current level of tension. She knew she had broken the rules, and knew that she must pay the consequences.

       “I know you will deny it,” Mattie said. “But may I remind you that I have seen your homework assignments, and I know that it’s Carm the person you always draw. You are not the only one who has drawn her hands, her hair, her body. I have done it for years while you have done it for months. And if you thought for a second that you could fool me, I have to say that I am offended by your lack of judgment.”

       “I never tried to offend you,” Laura found her words. Her tone came out serious and determined that it even surprised herself. “Nor do I think I have fooled you in believing there’s something going on between us. You are my professor and I am your student and I respect you because of it. And yes, I have been drawing Carmilla outside of the classroom, but that’s because we share another class together, not because we are dating or anything. You can ask her if you’d like and she will confirm it without hesitation. If I knew that hanging out with her outside of this class was going to get us both in trouble, I would have avoided her at all cost since the beginning of the semester.”

       “So you deny that there’s nothing going on between the two of you?” Her tone falsely hinted with ingenuity.

       “Yes.” They stared at each other's’ eyes for several seconds, Laura never breaking contact despite freaking out on the inside. “Like I said, if I knew that it would come to us being in this situation I would have even spoken to her outside of this classroom. But if even by doing that I am putting both my education and Carmilla’s job at risk, then I will cut ties with her entirely if that’s what you wish.”

       Mattie remained silent for a moment and Laura wanted to do anything to get out from that classroom. She had remained composed for far too long that she didn’t knew her body could hold on much longer.

       “Well, well, well. Aren’t you the dramatic one.” She stood up once again and even though she headed over to her office in the back of the classroom, she continued talking. “I guess I had been mistaken about you, but that doesn’t mean that I am convinced about your rebuttal. May I remind you once again, Miss Hollis,” she reappeared, this time with Laura’s portfolio and slowly made her way back to Laura, “that I will keep a close eye on both of you and that you have been warned. If I ever see something that remotely resembles you both being in a relationship, I will take matters into my own hands. And I will guarantee you, it won’t be pretty.”

       “I understand.” Laura replied. “Anything else?”

       Mattie handed her a sheet of paper folded in half and gave her a threatening smile.

       “Enjoy the rest of your week.”

       “Laura? Laura. Hey, Laura.” Carmilla slightly raised her voice and Laura was brought back to reality. “Are you okay?”

       “Huh?” Laura looked up at Carmilla and even though the lights were out, the moon shone through her window and allowed her to see the faint features of Carmilla’s face. “Oh, yeah. I’m just tired, that’s all.” 

       It was a lie. She couldn’t get Mattie’s words out of her head despite her best efforts but didn’t wanted to worry Carmilla with it. At least not for tonight. 

       “Did you listened to anything I said?” Carmilla asked, and Laura remained silent.

       “I’m sorry, Carm.” She took a deep breath and felt her lungs ache as the memory of Mattie began to creep back again in her mind. She once again pushed it aside and said, “Can you repeat that again? I promise I will pay attention.”

       “Nah, it wasn’t important. Do you want to watch a movie or something?”

       Laura squeezed her arm across her girlfriend’s torso and kept her close. Letting out a deep sigh, Laura pushed the thought away and focused in the present. 

       “Let’s just stay like this, okay?”

       “Of course.”

       Laura took a deep breath and remembered how much she loved the smell of Carmilla’s shirt, the last trace of perfume clinging onto the fabric that made her feel safe. That was what she needed the most at that moment, to feel safe. Laura listened to Carmilla’s breathing, the beating of her heart, that slowly she felt like she was dozing off into a peaceful and gentle state of drowsiness, before a pair of lips gently kissed her forehead. If this relationship was to be condemned, at least she wanted to enjoy it while she could.

 

* * *

 

       Several days passed and Laura gave Carmilla different excuses about having homework, or an assignment from one of her other classes, anything she could think to avoid telling Carmilla the truth. So now as they were in their History class with Vordenberg, who shutting up wasn’t part of his vocabulary, Laura was trying to take notes when a folded piece of paper was slid in her direction. She turned and noticed that Carmilla was doodling in her notebook, but didn’t even glanced in Laura’s direction. Laura unfolded it and read,

 

C: What’s with you?

L: Nothing. I’m just taking notes.

C: No, not here. I mean in general.

L: ?

C: Laura, I know something’s wrong.

 

       Of course, her little facade of everything being apparently normal lasted very shortly.

 

L: No, there isn’t.

C: Then why have you been acting so strange lately? Is it something I did? Something that offended you?

L: No, of course not.

C: Then? 

 

       Laura lingered for a moment, struggling whether or not she should tell Carmilla about Mattie knowing about them, but before she could write a reply Carmilla took the piece of paper back, wrote something and handed it to Laura once again.

 

C: Laura, whatever it is you can tell me. You know that, right?

L: Yeah, I know.

 

       She was hesitant, deep inside of her she knew that she should tell Carmilla, but on the other side she thought that if she continued avoiding the problem it would eventually dissipate and evaporate like a cloud of smoke. But that only happened in Hollywood movies or fairy tales.

 

C: I want you to know that I will be there for you. I want you to trust me with your problems. Okay? Remember that.

 

       Laura turned her head and noticed that Carmilla’s eyes were fixed on hers filled with concern that broke Laura’s heart. All she wanted was to be happy with Carmilla and be able to love her freely without the constant threat of being exposed. Without looking at their shoulder every time they looked at each other while in the Figure Drawing class or even feeling like they were committing something illicit when they were together. And now, despite all the effort and precautions they both took had been for nothing. Not only did Mattie found out about them, but once the truth was out both her academic life and Carmilla’s job were on the line. 

       Laura thought that, even though she wanted to take matters into her own hands, Carmilla had the right to know what was going on. She needed to know why Laura had been avoiding her, why she had been so lost in her own thoughts, because she was involved in this mess as well.

       Carmilla gave Laura a sad smile and turned her head back to her notebook and continued doodling, while Laura read the last bit Carmilla wrote in the sheet of paper. She once again took her pen between her fingers and began to write,

 

L: There’s something you need to know.

 

* * *

 

       “And you didn’t it occurred to you about telling me?” Carmilla raised her voice and in return received a shush from a table close to them.

       “It’s not that big of a deal.”

       “It  _ is _ a big deal. What if Mattie finds out for sure?”

       “She won’t.”

       “How do you know? Laura, I have known Mattie far longer than you have. And I can guarantee you that she knows about us. How? I don’t know, but she does, and by what you have told me she didn’t seemed too convinced about your answer. ” She let out a frustrated sigh and Laura took a sip from her hot chocolate to dissipate her nervousness but that did nothing to alleviate the tension between them both. “Do you understand that you can be sent to the Dean of students?”

       “And you can lose your job,” Laura added and Carmilla rolled her eyes as if it wasn’t a big deal. “I won’t allow that.”

       “And you think I will let you get in trouble because of me?”

       “Well… no, but—”

       “Laura,” Carmilla took Laura’s hand in hers. “If any of us is to blame it should be me. You have the shorter end of the stick. I was the one that started this.”

       “I kissed you. So technically I was the one.”

       “Well, who was the first one to talk to the other one, huh?” Carmilla raised her eyebrow and waited for Laura to think about it. She did, her mind trying to remember all those months ago, how their relationship evolved until it dawned on her.

       It had been Carmilla. She was the one that complimented her on her drawing and technique the very first day they met each other. 

       “Laura?” Carmilla reached out and held her hand tighter. 

       There was concern, genuine concern, but even though Carmilla gave her a small smile, it wasn’t enough to dissipate the guilt Laura was feeling at the moment. She knew that Carmilla was right: if it came to paying consequences, Laura was to be the one losing the most. It was unfair for her to ask for Carmilla to take matters into her own hands, she knew that. It was both their responsibility, they were aware of the consequences and yet decided to ignore them. And now both their relationship and futures were at stake.

       “Do you trust me?”

       “Of course.” Laura replied, her eyes never leaving Carmilla’s.

 

* * *

 

       “Good evening, children,” Professor Belmont said as she emerged from her office in the back of the classroom. “Please take out several sheets of paper and let’s get started as soon as possible.”

       Laura began to do what she was asked, and a second later Danny appeared behind her.

       “Hollis?” Laura turned. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

       “Yeah, sure. What’s up Danny.”

       “I mean, can we talk in private?”

       She followed Danny outside of the classroom and they went through a set of doors, away from the rest of the students.

       “Is everything okay?”

       “I um… I just wanted to um…,” her features were serious, but Laura waited somewhat patiently for her to continue.

       There was something in Danny’s eyes that reminded Laura of the time she asked her for the first time if they could talk. Laura remembered how her heart hammered against her chest as Danny took her underneath a flight of stairs and confessed she had feelings for her. It had been years ago, when they were both new to Silas and before Danny even got together with Kirsch, but even though Laura was amazed by Danny’s bravery and her loyalty as a friend, her feelings for her never went beyond a friendship. But now that Danny and Kirsch were together and were pretty serious, Laura’s head began to think of all the possible scenarios for Danny to want to talk with Laura in private.

       “I don’t even know how to say this.”

       “Just say it, Danny. It’s okay.” Laura looked up to see Danny’s face, whose lips opened and closed several times, but no words came out from them.

       Danny took a deep breath and said after several seconds.

       “Laura, what are you doing?”

       The question took Laura by surprise. Out of all the scenarios her mind had pictured, she never expected such a question from Danny.

       “I was… getting ready for the class?”

       “No, I mean… I mean with you and Carmilla.”

       “Nothing? We’re just girlfriends.” Laura was confused, but noticed that Danny’s eyes never looked at her for more than three seconds. “Danny, what’s the matter?”

       Danny’s eyes became focused on the floor, and Laura knew that she was debating on something. Even though she knew she needed to finish getting ready for the class, she didn’t cared about that at the moment. She wanted to find out what was the matter and why Danny was acting the way she was.

       “I um…”

       “Hey guys,” an Asian girl peeked through the door. “Professor Belmont is asking for you. She has an announcement to make.”

       As they made their way back to their easels, Danny extended her arm and handed Laura a folded sheet of paper. She unfolded it and began to read the contents of it. 

 

       “ _ Laura, _

_        I hope that things would have happened in a different way, and I am sorry for having caused you such trouble. But please remember that I love you, and that I would never forgive myself if something bad happened to you because of me. _ ”

 

       “So I have some news for you.” Mattie said.

 

       “ _ In the past couple of months we have been together, they have been some of the happiest moments in my life and this is why I am writing this letter to you. Remember when I asked you to trust me? Well, I hope you continue to do so and understand why I did what I did.” _

 

       “I know that the semester is almost over,” 

 

       “ _ I spoke with Mattie and we came to an agreement. _ ”

 

       “But I regret to inform you that one of our models, ” she lifted her eyes and Mattie’s eyes turned and glared in her direction for a second before they shifted to the rest of the class. “won’t be coming back due to breaking one of the rules I imposed on the first day of class.”

 

_        “It was hard to convince her, but she agreed to not send you to the Dean of Students in exchange for my position as a model.” _

 

       “So let me clear. The next time I catch any of you breaking them, you will pay the consequences because I wasn’t joking then and I am not joking now. Understood?”

 

_        “Laura, please don’t do anything stupid or reckless. Remember that I love you and I hope you continue to trust me. _

_        Carmilla.” _

 

       “Yes,” The rest of the class replied. Except Laura.

 

_        “P.S.: I will go to your apartment in the evening and I will explain everything.” _

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys thank you so much for reading and if you have any comments or questions, don't hesitate to send them to me. Also, any type of criticism is welcomed. I hope you enjoy this new fic and thanks for the support!


End file.
